Romeo and Julian
by BriarIceChills
Summary: Who hasn't heard of the classic tale called Romeo and Juliet? It's, ya know, a classic! Well, this is that classic tale, with a 21st century twist. Not to spoil the story, but this is a gay love story. If that type of stuff offends you, don't read it.
1. Prologue

Cast of Characters

The MontaguesThe Capulets

Principal WilliamsPrincipal Smith

Mrs. WilliamsMrs. Smith

Romeo, school heroJulian, school hero

Mercutio, aka Cutie, Romeo's Benvolio, aka Benvy, friendJulian's best friend

Balthazar, Romeo's best friend

Rosaline, Romeo's ex Tybalt, Rosaline's new

boyfriend

**Prologue**

Once upon a time

Not too long ago

There came to be a classic love

That you should surely know

They came from two rival schools

Called Capulet and Montague

Never did they come to meet

Until a dual school dance, a treat

Cutie was his usual self

Pointing out the pretty chicks

While Benvy tried to convey

What the point of Shakespeare is

Then, too fast it had begun

Both had found their only one

A quick meeting, eye to eye

Who would've let the love pass by?

So here it is, neat and sweet

The tale you've often heard of

It's Romeo and Julian,

That classic tale of love

A/N: Well in case that wasn't clear, allow me to explain: I' m redoing Romeo and Juliet so it's gay and in the twenty first century. We're reading the original in English and, with all due respect, it sucketh. Sure, it's romantic but Romeo's a wimp (or at least a crybaby) and Juliet has no friends. My friends actually suggested a Rosaline and Juliet story, but I like the thought of Romeo and Julian better. I'm so evil. Muhahahaha! So, expect me to take creative liscense on all the characters and torture the plotline to death. evil snicker Oh, yeah, there will be a bunch of curse words scattered throughout the story, because people curse a lot in my high school. YaYz.

Love alwayz,

BriarIceChilleth


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Briaricechills

A/N: Before the story starts, I just wanted to let everyone know that I want this story to be ripped apart. Tell me everything that's wrong with it (except for the whole gay thing) and what you don't understand, and what just sounds stupid and every little detail that doesn't make sense. Pretty please? BTW, if you hadn't caught on this will be a guy-in-love-with-guy story. Slash. Whatever you want to call it. Oh, and Julian has a ponytail (I had to make him a little fem). Happy reading!

"A locker in the Capulet school

Slams open, revealing books askew

Julian's off to lunch it seems  
Poor locker, left alone-"

"Okay! Okay! I get the point! I'll study Shakespeare tonight! Would you stop narrating every thing I do? It's really annoying, Benvy," Julian glared up at his best friend. The glowering look seemed to lose it's affect after the contents of the locker collapsed on Julian's feet. Annoyed, Julian flicked his ponytail over his shoulder before stooping to retrieve his stuff.

"Sure, no problem," Benvy replied airily. "I can't think of anything that rhymes with seems. Still haven't gotten around to cleaning the poor locker, huh?"

"I seem to have lost all organizational skills because of this annoying buzz in my ears. Probably comes from resisting the urge to murder you," Julian growled testily.

"Is something wrong?" Benvy asked, mock concern on his face. "I know the problem! Sexual tension." Once he'd juggled his books into a reasonable order, Julian slugged his friend on the shoulder.

"Hey, what's that for? Don't worry, I have the perfect solution for your problem. A blind da-"

"No! No more blind dates! I was nuts to let you set me up with that Rosa chick. She was crazy! Talk about sexual tension."

"Teenage hormones," Benvy breezed.

"She tried to hump my leg," Julian said with an incredulous look.

"Plenty of girls do that."

"In the middle of McDonald's?" Julian allowed himself a gloating grin when his friend couldn't come up with a snappy comeback. "Ha! I win. No more blind dates."

"For now," Benvy said, grinning at Julian before quickening his steps to get lost in the sudden rush of people. Benvy didn't want to have to answer his friend's questions. At least, not yet.

Julian couldn't help but be suspicious of his friend's actions. Benvy was known to be a matchmaker, and the last couple of times he tried to help Julian, it had done the opposite. Out of all the girls, Rosa had been the worse, but Julian knew that Benvy would find a way to top himself.

"Hey Julian! What do you think of the poster for the game this Friday?" Peter eagerly looked at Julian, expecting praise.

"It's, uh. Well, the blood is really… Yeah." The poster was done in full color, depicting Julian in his Capulet High basketball uniform along with Montague's best player, both of them going for the ball. The most noticeable part of the picture was where Julian's elbow breaking the nose of the Montague's player, in full blood-spattered detail.

"The poster looks excellent, Peter," Principal Williams said with great gusto. Everything the Principal did, he did with much gusto, as though he were on stage in a play only he knew about. Clapping a hand on Julian's shoulder, he asked his favorite player, "How have you been, my dear boy? How's that English class going for you, eh?"

"I still don't get what Shakespeare was trying to say, Benvy's trying to help me with it. I don't know how much it will help, though, it's as though Mr. Escalus is speaking in Anglo-Saxon or something."

"Ah, yes Anglo-Saxon. Those poor, poor Anglo-Saxons, what an awful way to die," Principal Williams said graciously. "Well, gentlemen, I must be off. Important duties to attend to." Both Peter and Julian waited until the man had caned away before erupting into sniggers.

"How does the School Board decide on who'll be in charge?" Peter wondered through his laughter. "A raffle?"

"Nah, they just randomly pick the name from a hat," Julian suggested.

"Hey, shouldn't you be in lunch by now?" Peter asked.

"Shi- yeah, listen I've gotta go. Maybe you oughta lighten up on the red paint a little," Julian recommended, careful not to hurt the artist's feelings. Still, the poster made him wince to just glance at it.

"Yeah, I can't add anymore blood. It's kinda sad, but I ran out of red paint," the mousy haired painter sighed.

"See ya around, Peter," Julian called over his shoulder, jogging up the stairs two at a time. The halls were completely silent, his footsteps echoing along the corridors.

Everything was silent until he got to the lunch doors, at least.

The amount of noise two hundred students could make never ceased to amaze Julian. He'd spied his friends along the far wall of the cafeteria when a familiar voice stopped him.

"Julian, you're ten minutes late. You've made a new record for it." The school Nurse patrolled the cafeteria for some reason unknown to both her and the students. She was known for being quick to hand out detentions, and she had an eye for trouble.

"Sorry, Nurse. I got pulled aside by Mr. Williams on the way up. You know, a little pep talk to get me ready to pulverize the opponents this Friday," Julian said, sending her his most charming grin.

"Mmm, good luck with that, Julian. And next time try to avoid Mr. Williams, okay?"

"Not an issue. Thanks, Nurse." The old lady looked like she was about to respond, but must have noticed some trouble. She was quickly striding across the large room, yelling at a few rowdy juniors about some inappropriate use of mayonnaise. Julian was then off to his lunch table, avoiding sharp objects poking at him and the food flying over his head.

"Hey, saw you has a close encounter with the Nurse. How'd ya come through unscathed?" Judy asked, her black nails tapping against the tabletop.

"Oh, the Nurse loves him, Judy. She practically raised him, since their neighbors," Benvy supplied, shoving a few kids off the bench to give Julian room to sit down at the table.

"Thanks for saving me a seat, man. I owe ya one," Julian said, giving a little half grin to his friend.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Benvy replied, snagging someone's Italian homework to copy off of.

"Hey, gents. What's new?" Tybalt, a sleazy junior, leaned over and gave Julian's ponytail a rough tug. "Glad to see you're still gay, dude. I was getting worried."

"I'm not gay, Tybalt. My ponytail is a symbol of rebellion. The coaches pf the basketball team said long-haired players weren't allowed on the team, so I-"

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before. So, you're still a closet queer, eh?" Julian had to resist the urge to strangle the greasy haired junior sitting next to him.

"Aw, leave him be, Tybalt," Benvy spoke up. Julian noticed that Benvy seemed overly engrossed in his copying, but Julian didn't think anything of it.

"Why, will his boyfriend kick my ass for being so rude?" A slimy grin appeared on the junior's face, giving Julian the urge to wipe it off. Preferably with a Brillo pad.

"So, I'm glad you agreed to it. I was worried you'd wanna wimp out."

"Excuse me?" Julian eyed the teenager sitting next to him. What the hell was Tybalt talking about?

"Yeah, since Rosa's parents won't let me take her out alone," Julian had flinched at the name, "I really appreciate You're helping me out by pretending to double date with me and my girl. The Montague School dance should be…fun. "

"Dance?" Julian asked. "What dance?"

"I'll let Benvy explain that to you. Have a great day ladies, gents, and Julian." Judging by the smirk, Tybalt felt he'd filled his daily quota of asshole.

Julian turned to Benvy, who was staring at the homework in his hand without moving his pencil. "Dance?" he asked quietly, well aware that his dangerously soft voice would carry to his best friend's ears.

"Yeah, you see it's like this," Benvy started, obviously ready to offer Julian a buffet of bullshit.

"No, it's like this: I refuse to go anywhere with you where there will be girls. I completely refuse."  
"Julian, you have to-" Benvy started again.

"No."

"You're so depressed and-"

"No."

"C'mon, you know you want-"

"No way in Hell, Benvolio! Besides, who'd be our dates?" Benvy, obviously without an answer, watched nervously as Julian flicked his ponytail over his shoulder.

"Look, man, you, uh. You owe me!" Benvy noticed the slit eyed glare he'd received, so he quickly continued.

"Remember that time two years ago in the seventh grade, when we had that huge project in social studies? You bailed on me, and I had to present in front of the whole-"

"Okay, I'll go."

"- class all alone, terrified. I almost peed my pants, man, and then-"

"I said I'll go! Don't press it, Benvy!" The roar of the cafeteria was the only sound at the table.

"Really?" Benvy seemed doubtful of his friend's honesty.

Julian sighed. "Yeah, really." Then, "Who's gonna be our dates, genius?"

Once again, the roar was heard.

"You could always go together," Judy suggested, and received twin glares for his efforts. "Hey, don't shoot the gothic girl. My girlfriend'll kick your ass."

Roaring was the only noise.

"Thanks for the nightmares, Judy. You and a girl, making out. Yechh."

"Just another service I offer, guys."

"S-so, you going to the dance, Romeo?"

The blond haired teen turned to see yet another short, brown haired freshman girl. They seemed to multiply in Montague High's cleaning closets.

"Nah, I wouldn't be caught dead there. It's gonna be boring as usual," Romeo replied. He noticed that she'd started blushing, and seemed to be shaking at being so close to Romeo's sacred table.

"Yeah. I totally know what you mean. I-I've gotta go," Romeo smirked at the sound of her squeaking voice, and turned to Cutie once she'd left.

"So what do you think?"

Cutie appraised her from afar as the girl ran back to

her blushing freshman friends. "Nice ass," he acknowledged idly.

"I meant about her quaking in fear at approaching our table," Romeo responded, ignoring his friend's automatic check-out of the freshman. "Please keep in mind that I've been momentarily turned off of women."

"Ah, yes, Rosa dear. How could I forget?" Cutie questioned to himself. Both guys turned to see who Rosa was sucking face with in the corner of the cafeteria.

"Isn't a little weird how a freshman girl has her own slut spot already?" Balthazar queried, after he'd noticed where his friends were looking.

"Rosa seems to be moving through all the guys pretty quick. Moving up, you could say," Cutie said with a lecherous wink.

"Yeah, she's turning everyone gay," Balthazar added.

"Nice to know I'm not alone. Maybe I should start a support group," Romeo mused out loud.

"That'd be a great senior project: Romeo's How to Survive Your First Contact With a Slut Seminar. Principal Smith would be thrilled," Balthazar said with amusement.

"Wasn't really my first contact, though. I wouldn't want to lie to the kiddies," Romeo smiled at the thought of the principal's reaction to that kind of senior project.

"So, c'mon, are we going to the dance or not? It's right after the game Friday night, so no using that as an excuse. 'Sides, we can check out some ladies," Cutie said, telling the whole table what was on his mind.

"Sure, why not?" Romeo responded. "By now I've convinced all the little freshman dweebs I'm not going, so maybe I'll be able to breath this dance."

"Great, I'll go get our tickets from the cute chick who's selling them. I'll be back," Cutie deserted Romeo and Balthazar. They both knew it was to go see if he could sneak a grope from the poor girl attempting to sell tickets to the dance.

"So, you gonna kick some ass at the game in two days?" Balthazar asked.

"Yup. Even the Capulet cheerleaders will be going, 'Julian? Don'cha mean Julia?' " Romeo boasted, only half joking.

"I don't know, I hear Julian's pretty good," Balthazar replied.

"I heard the same thing, 'Zar. But everyone also said he's not serious about the game."

Balthazar examined his friend, noticing that Romeo was incredibly serious about winning. "Hey, Rome, be careful not to hurt the dude. Everyone described him as short, skinny and pony-tailed."

"Who, me? Why would I injure Capulet's star player? 'Sides, 'Zar, he's just a little freshman. What's it matter?"

"Damn, Romeo, we're not much better. Sophomores like us really don't get that much more respect than freshman."

A squeaky voice piped up "H-hey Romeo. You goin' to the dance? Want me to get you something to eat?"

'Zar glowered evilly at his best friend, as the blonde had his third éclair from the plate that the freshman girls had delivered. "You're right, 'Zar. We get no respect. This éclair sure is good, though."

"Jackass. You only get respect from the girls because you're 'so gorgeous,'" 'Zar quickly grabbed a pastry from the plate, giving his best friend another mean look.

"You know it," Romeo agreed, watching as Cutie went off with yet another random chick.

"The dance should be interesting."

Romeo snorted to himself. "Hardly." After thinking about it, he added, "Let's bring some preparations in case some Capulets show up like they did last game. It oughta be fun to wreak some havoc if some idiots come walking right into our midst, don't you think?"

A/N: Romeo's such a badass. glomps I love badass Romeo. Ok, I don't know when the next chapter will be out, I have to deal with my real life and all. Until then review and criticize. A whole bunch, since I want this to be the best story it can possibly be. Thank you in advance.

smile

On a mission to ruin a classic tale,

BriarIceChilleth


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